


A Soldier's Heart

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: AU, Alternate Universes, M/M, Series: Soldiers Heart, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 00:26:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/791927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Army captain Jim Ellison and his roommate are faced with a problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Soldier's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks and much appreciation go to Grey for being a   
>  great beta. Changes were made after this was beta read, so any   
> mistakes or off characterizations are completely mine. Feedback   
> and constructive criticism are desired.

## A Soldier's Heart 

by XFreak

Author's webpage: [](http://www.e-fic.com/xfreak/)http://www.e-fic.com/xfreak/ Text-only mirror: http://members.nbci.com/XFreak1/

Author's disclaimer: All things The Sentinel belong to Pet Fly Productions   
and Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended. This work of   
fiction is purely for enjoyment and no money is being made from   
it. 

* * *

* * *

A Soldier's Heart  
by XFreak  
XFreak1@aol.com 

* * *

Captain James Ellison entered the loft, followed by three of his subordinates. All four men wore camouflage outfits and sported buzzed haircuts. An enticing aroma filled the apartment, which made Jim's stomach rumble. 

"Hey, Captain Ellison! What's _that_?" Lieutenant Michael Wilson inquired sarcastically, pointing to the figure standing at the stove, stirring a pot. 

" _That_ is my roommate and his name is Sandburg." Ellison's cold blue eyes met and held dark green ones. As he turned toward his friend, a broad smile greeted him. 

"Hey, Jim." Seeing the other men stole the happy expression from Blair's face, his forehead creasing. "Um, I didn't know you were bringing anyone home. I didn't make enough." 

"It's okay, Sandburg. The guys already ate. I told them I don't stock enough food to feed an army." Jim smiled fondly as his young friend snickered at the joke. 

"What are _you_ supposed to be?" Too stupid to heed the warning look from a couple of minutes ago, Wilson stepped toward the young man. 

"Huh?" Sandburg stepped back, attempting to put some distance between them. The blonde lieutenant stepped forward again, using his 5'11" height and well muscled physique to intimidate the smaller man. 

"What's with the long hair?" Blair looked to Jim for a clue about what to do as Wilson flipped his curly hair between thumb and forefinger. 

"Wilson, he's a college student, not a military man." Jim spoke in a tight voice. 

"He's a boy." The statement carried his disgust as he slowly memorized Sandburg from head to toe, his eyes raking over every inch of the younger man's body. 

"He's 18. He's a man, the same as you when you enlisted." Jim waited a few moments to give his words emphasis. "Now, back off." 

"Yeah, whatever." The arrogant man walked away, settling himself on the couch. 

"Whatcha making, Chief?" 

"Shit on a shingle," Blair quietly replied after glancing over at Wilson. 

A snort came from the direction of the couch. "Kid _thinks_ he's an army man." 

Captain Ellison's face reddened. "He _lives_ with one. Why shouldn't he know some of the terminology? I taught him how to make it." Another snort was the only reply to his words. 

"Chief, this is Chambers and Davis." Both men stepped forward, apologetic expressions covering their faces. 

Chambers introduced himself first. The smiling brown eyes, which were almost as dark as his black hair, could pierce as easily as an arrow when angered. At 6', lean and strong, he stood even in height with his captain. 

"Hi. I'm David Chambers." He firmly shook Sandburg's hand. "It's good to meet you." 

Blair smiled. "You, too." 

Next, Davis stepped forward, extending his hand. The man's disarming smile could be deceiving, as well as his 5'9" height. No stranger to a gym, he had a very stocky build. His hair and eyes were almost the same shade of chocolate brown. 

"Hi. My name's John Davis. Anyone that Captain Ellison calls a friend is okay in my book." He firmly shook Sandburg's hand as well. 

Blair grinned. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you." 

Davis' smile returned. "Same here." 

While his roommate had his attention focused on the other men, Ellison finally noticed what the younger man wore. He had on a snug fitting pair of white sweatpants (without underwear, judging from the dark patch in the front), Jim's Jags t-shirt, and thick grey thermal socks. Smiling at the ever present attempt to stay warm, he forcefully brought his attention back to his friend's face. 

"You cold, Chief?" 

"No, I'm fine." The smaller man looked up at his roommate with a reassuring smile. He retrieved two plates, placing two pieces of white bread on each. 

"Why don't you guys go watch the pregame special while we eat?" They nodded amiably and walked over to the couch, sitting on either side of Wilson. 

Ellison watched as the young man he had befriended dipped and spread the food over one piece of bread, the muscles in his arms flexing enticingly. Blair then picked the other piece up, setting it on top of the first. Spreading more ground beef and gravy over it, he handed the first plate to Jim, who closed off his expression to cover his sudden fascination. 

After dipping the second plate, Blair brought silverware and a beer for Jim to the table, setting a soda down for himself. Just as the two moved to sit down, Wilson yelled out. 

"Hey, kid! Why don't you do something useful and bring me a beer?" 

Sandburg stiffened, then turned to head toward the refrigerator when he found a large hand splayed across his chest, holding him in place. His heart raced as the army man's heat seeped through the heavy cotton shirt. Ellison turned and glared at his officer. 

"Wilson, if you want a beer, get off your lazy ass and get it yourself." 

"You're going to take that punk's side over one of your men?" 

"You could probably learn a lot from him. I don't have to keep repeating myself to get him to follow my lead, unlike a certain member of my unit." 

"What's that kid got on you anyway? Are you fucking him?" Jim heard the young man's gasp as Wilson got up and walked toward them. He filed it away for later contemplation, only just now feeling the heart beating wildly under his palm. Through gritted teeth, he laid down Ellison house rule #1. 

"Wilson, you are a guest in my home. You will treat my roommate with respect or you will leave. Understood?" 

"Jim, I could've just gotten him the beer." Jim minutely moved his thumb on the young man's chest to let him know that his comment had been heard, but not agreed with. 

"You didn't answer my question, Ellison." 

"No. I'm not fucking him." His eyes glowed blue fire, his voice deceptively calm. 

"Then, what's the deal? How did you come to be living with an 18 year old boy if it's not your cock?" 

"Wilson, I am fucking warning you." Jim didn't have to raise his voice to level a threat. The pressure of his palm against Sandburg's chest increased, causing the younger man to swallow a moan. 

"Well?" 

"I recruited at the university. We talked afterward. I asked why he was living in his car. His apartment building had burned. He needed a place to live. I had a spare room." He spoke with short, choppy sentences, betraying his anger. 

"Does he pay rent?" 

Sandburg's face started to flush, prompting Jim to massage with his thumb to offer reassurance. 

"He carries his own weight, which is more than I can say for a certain officer." 

"Does he have a job?" 

Jim sighed, the anger draining from his features as boredom took its place. "Yes, he works at the university library during the day." 

Suddenly, the younger man turned, looking Wilson in the eye. "What's your problem?" Wilson arrogantly ignored him, retrieving his beer from the refrigerator and returning to sit on the couch. Turning his wounded puppy eyes up to his roommate, Sandburg asked, "What did I do?" 

"Sandburg, sit down and eat. You didn't do anything. Wilson's an asshole." Jim spoke in a matter of fact tone. 

"I'm suddenly not very hungry." He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, looking down at his plate with disinterest. 

"I said, 'Sit down and eat.' You're too thin already." Jim used his command voice as he picked up his fork, expecting to be obeyed. Blair sat down in his chair. After picking at his food for a few minutes, he began to eat. Quietly, he asked a question. 

"Doesn't it bother you that he thinks you're sleeping with me?" He gestured with his fork as he asked. 

"No. He wants to sleep with me and I refused. He's had a hair up his ass ever since. His problem with you is the simple fact that you're my friend. End of story." 

"Oh." Jim smiled at the younger man's endearing naive air. 

"By answering his questions directly, I took the fuel out of his fire." Standing, the captain took his dishes to the sink. "I'm going to go get a shower. I'll clean up the dishes afterward." 

"I'll get 'em. You've got company." 

The captain smiled at him. It occurred to him that he'd smiled more since he'd known this young man than he had in a long time. He didn't want to examine that too closely. What had made Wilson think they were sleeping together? Was it just jealousy of their closeness or did he see something that Jim didn't? Sandburg's heart had been ready to jump out of his chest when he touched him. *It's your imagination, Ellison. Get over it. Why would a man like that want an anal army captain?* 

* * *

After Blair finished putting the dishes away, he turned to find Wilson invading his personal space, smiling down at him evilly. The other man stepped closer to him, pressing their bodies together while he caressed the younger man's face with the backs of his fingers, the deranged smile causing Sandburg's stomach to lurch. 

"You sure are a pretty little thing, aren't you?" He ran his finger along the full lower lip of the struggling man. "I bet that mouth could suck a mean cock." 

"Get away from me!" Sandburg jerked his head away from Wilson's hand. 

Chambers saw the struggle. "Wilson, are you crazy? Ellison will kill you!" 

"I'll handle Ellison right after I handle this one." His gaze didn't leave Blair's face. 

Sandburg tried to push him away, but the man just held too much of a weight advantage. He turned his head away stubbornly as the army man leaned down to kiss him. 

"Get off me, man!" 

"What, you don't want me? I'll bet an 18 year old boy is just full of hormones." 

Blair wished for Jim to hurry up and get out of the shower, not liking this turn of events at all. Of course, the captain didn't expect to have to defend his wimpy roommate's honor. 

Wilson used his weight to hold Blair against the counter while lowering his hand to fondle the student's limp penis. Gripping it through the soft cloth, he roughly stroked it. Blair wiggled his hips trying to get away as his cock thickened from the pressure, despite orders not to do so from his brain. 

"Let me go!" 

"You want me, don't you pretty boy? You're hard for me." His smile sent shivers down Sandburg's spine as Chambers pulled him away. 

"Wilson, use some sense! Ellison has already warned you. He'll kill you if he finds out you did that." 

Wilson turned to Blair. "But he won't find out, will he pretty boy? If he does, I'll find you and punish you myself." He thrust his hips at the younger man with the word "punish". Blair turned his head away, his face reddening as he hugged himself. 

"Do you have a death wish? I advise you to get over there on the couch and hope this young man doesn't tell the captain." 

"He won't say a word." The arrogance in the tone made Blair's skin crawl. 

Chambers turned to him, an apologetic frown marring his handsome face. "Sandburg, I'm sorry. We're not all like him." 

Blair tried to smile, but didn't quite make it as he nodded. 

* * *

When Jim stepped out of the bathroom, the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He instinctively knew that something had happened. The sight of his roommate confirmed his fear, the younger man standing in the kitchen with his head down, hugging himself, and his body trembling. 

"Chief? What happened?" 

"Nothing. I'm fine." Blair wouldn't look at Jim, but saw the smug smirk on Wilson's face as he lied for the scum bag. 

"I can tell you're upset. What happened?" 

"Let it go, Jim." He tried to walk away from the older man, but found himself stuck between Ellison's strong arms against the counter. Their bodies didn't touch, but he couldn't get away. He squeezed his eyes shut, his whole body tensing. "Don't touch me." 

Jim backed away quickly at the desperate tone. "I didn't mean to scare you, Sandburg. You know I wouldn't hurt you, right?" 

"Yeah, I know you wouldn't." What he didn't say told Jim _volumes_ more than what he did. 

"What did he do?" The older man leaned down in Blair's face, whispering. 

"Nothing." He turned his head away. 

"You're lying." 

"How can you tell?" Blair asked in a suspicious voice, his eyebrows raising. 

"I'm very... perceptive." 

"Let it go, Jim. I can't tell you." After enduring the intense scrutiny long enough, he spoke again. "I have to study. I have an exam tomorrow." 

"Okay. We'll keep it down so you can concentrate." As the younger man passed, Jim lightly laid his hand on the student's forearm. "Blair?" 

"Yeah?" He looked into the other man's eyes. 

"You know you can talk to me, right? You know you can come to me if you're in trouble?" When Jim said "trouble", Blair's eyes immediately focused on Wilson. The captain caught the unconscious confession. 

"Yeah, I know. Thanks. I need to study now." Sandburg waited until Jim released his arm before going to his room. 

* * *

After reigning his anger in, Jim marched straight over to Wilson. Picking him up by the front of his shirt, he dragged him to the door. 

"Get out, NOW!" 

"What? Did the little punk tell you I groped him? He's lying!" Wilson looked scared, his gaze dancing wildly. 

"No, he didn't tell me anything. You just did. He was trying to protect you because you threatened him." The calm tone of voice conveyed more malice than any yell could have. Realizing that he'd given himself up, Wilson paled as Jim slammed the door in his face. 

Turning around, the flushed captain grilled his other men. 

"What happened? Why didn't you stop it?" 

"Chambers did stop it. There's no telling what he would've done to the kid if he hadn't." Contempt dripped from Davis' words. 

"What _did_ he do to him?" They both remained silent. "Answer me! NOW!" Before they had a chance to, Blair walked into the room. 

"Jim? Is everything okay?" 

The captain's features eased as he raised his head and made eye contact with his roommate. "Everything's fine, Sandburg. I'm the commanding officer. Sometimes I have to raise my voice to get results. Don't let it bother you. Go on and study." 

"Okay." Blair turned to go back into his room as Jim glared down at his subordinates. 

"Don't make me ask again." Davis talked so fast that Ellison almost laughed. 

"W-when I looked up from the tv, Wilson had the kid pinned against the counter. Chambers tried to talk sense into him, told him you'd kill him." 

Jim nodded. "Go on." 

"Well, the next thing I know, Wilson is leaning into the kid and..." 

"And?" Jim gritted the word out through clenched teeth, knowing he wouldn't like what came next. 

"And... and... he moved his hand down below the kid's waist. I couldn't see, but it looked like he fondled him. The kid has spunk. He tried to push him away, but Wilson's just too big. Then Chambers got up and went over there." 

Jim turned to Chambers. "And then?" 

"He was definitely fondling him, captain. I pulled him off, but he'd been pretty rough. You might want to check and make sure the kid's okay." 

"What did you say to him?" He spoke in the dangerously calm voice that all his subordinates feared. 

"I asked him if he had a friggin' death wish and reminded him that you'd already warned him. He said he'd take care of you right after he took care of the kid. Then, I apologized to Sandburg." 

"Okay. Kick back and watch the game. I'll get some beer and popcorn." 

The two officers watched wide eyed as Jim made popcorn and retrieved two beers from the refrigerator with clipped, angry movements. Once he had filled a large bowl with popcorn, he brought it and the beer over, setting them down on the coffee table. 

"I'm not angry with you men. You did the right thing. I know it's not easy to talk when a fellow soldier messes up, but Wilson needs to be dealt with. If he did this to Sandburg in his own home, he'll do it again. If he has a problem with me, he needs to deal with _me_." Jim angrily poked himself in the chest with the last word. 

Both men nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. 

"I'll be back to enjoy the game with you in a few minutes. I'm going to check on the kid." 

After he left the room, the men exchanged a tremendously relieved glance. 

* * *

Jim knocked on the door frame of Blair's room, where he'd been watching the young man study, undetected, for a few minutes. The student looked up at him. 

"Come on in, Jim." 

"Can I sit?" Sandburg nodded, moving his papers and sitting across from Jim with his legs pretzeled. "The guys told me what happened." 

Sandburg's gaze dropped to his lap, his hands fidgeting with his sweatpants. 

"I want you to be able to come to me if you're in trouble." 

"I know. But he said he'd find me and hurt me. I wouldn't have a prayer against a guy his size." Jim's anger rose another notch as he listened to the wary voice of his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder for support. 

"How did he threaten you?" 

"He said that he'd punish me and he pushed his hips toward me." He bit his lip, turning his face away. "I'm sorry." 

"For what?" Jim had to force the anger down long enough to ask, gently squeezing his friend's shoulder to offer comfort. 

"For causing problems with your work." 

"All you did was have dinner and clean up in your own home. You didn't do anything wrong." 

"But, what if I did something to encourage him?" He tucked some stray hair behind his ear. "I don't _think_ I did, but I'm not sure." 

"You didn't do anything, Chief. Like I said, Wilson's a jerk. He saw a smaller man as an easy target." Blair looked away from him again, blushing. "Hey." Jim lifted Sandburg's chin without giving it a second thought. "You're still young. You'll fill out. You're pretty stocky and it'll become more defined as you grow older." 

"Thanks, but I'm just scrawny." The younger man turned his face away, avoiding Jim's gaze and tucking an errant strand of hair behind his ear. 

"I wasn't always built like this, you know. I used to be skinny until I started working out." He kept his tone gentle, wanting nothing more than to encourage the other man. 

"D'you think if I worked out, I wouldn't look so small?" Blair asked in that small voice that his roommate wished he'd never heard. 

"Maybe. Or maybe you just need to give yourself time. You can start working out with me if you want." 

"I don't want to look stupid." Blair's expression closed off. 

"It's not stupid to work on your body. Your height already puts you at a disadvantage. Nobody can fault you for wanting to protect yourself, even though I should've been there to do it." 

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known he'd do that." 

Jim didn't seem convinced, frowning, but let it drop. "The guys said he was pretty rough with you. Are you okay?" He pointed to Blair's groin. 

"I don't think I'll be jerking off or anything, but I'm okay." Sandburg covered himself with his hand. 

"Good." A comfortable silence fell between them. "Well, if you're okay, I should go back out and let you study." 

"Yeah, I'm okay." He smiled shyly. 

Jim got up and headed toward the door. Just before he got there, Blair stopped him. 

"Jim?" 

"Yeah?" He turned, looking at the younger man with his eyebrows raised. 

"Thanks." 

The captain smiled. "No problem, buddy. That's what friends are for." The student returned his smile, sliding back down to study. 

* * *

"Jim? Did I do something wrong?" 

The captain jumped, startled out of his reverie. Turning to take in the apprehensive expression on his passenger's face, he frowned. He watched his hand leave the steering wheel, settling itself on Blair's shoulder to give a comforting squeeze. 

"No, Chief. What makes you think that?" 

The younger man's attention dropped to the hand on his shoulder. Snapping himself back into the conversation, he looked back up at his friend. "Then is something bothering you?" 

Jim's jaw tensed again, his hand gripping the steering wheel with a punishing grip. "I don't like to see people prey on a person who can't defend himself. It happened right there in our own home and I wasn't there to prevent it." The anger heated his reddened  
cheeks as he hit the steering wheel with the hand that had just left Sandburg's shoulder. 

"You think I'm a wimp." The younger man looked away, watching the trees pass by outside the window. 

"No, I just think you didn't have a chance against someone Wilson's size and he knew it. I should have..." 

Blair cut him off. "You should have what, Jim? Stayed by my side every minute? Get real. You should be able to take a shower without babysitting me." 

"He'd already shown a hostile attitude toward you. I shouldn't have left you like that." 

"You left me with 3 army lieutenants!" Sandburg held up three fingers on his left hand to emphasize his words. "I wasn't alone, Jim. You surely thought that if he got out of hand, the others would have stopped him." His intense blue gaze stared a hole through Jim's handsome profile. 

"Yeah, well I thought wrong and you got hurt. That's not acceptable." 

"Jim? Hello? He didn't really hurt me. Like I said before, he just put me out of commission for a couple of days. And it's not like anyone is in a real hurry to be with me. I'm sore, but there's no serious damage." 

"You have a self-esteem problem." 

"Huh?" Confused blue eyes focused on Jim. 

"I said, 'You have a self-esteem problem.' That's not the first time I've heard you put yourself down. You're smaller than some men, but there's nothing wrong with you, Chief." He held the eye contact longer than he should have while driving, but wanted to make his point. 

Blair shrugged. "It's no big deal, man." 

"I don't like it." Jim kept his eyes focused on the road, but his tone made it clear that he was not a happy man. 

"Jim, just leave it alone, will you?" Blair's voice sounded tight, as if they had just crossed onto forbidden territory. 

"No, I won't. We're going to deal with this. Maybe not now, but we'll eventually talk about it." In his peripheral vision, he saw his friend roll his eyes and shake his head. 

Blair sighed. "Whatever, Jim." He looked out the window, watching the scenes passing by, for the rest of the trip. Jim let the subject drop as well. 

"Where do you need to go?" 

"What?" Jim pointed to the entrance of the university. "Oh, uh... the library." He nodded and proceeded to drive. 

"Here we are." Blair opened the door, gathering his things. His breath caught when Jim patted him on the back as he got out. Turning widened eyes on the captain, he stared. "Try not to let Wilson get to you, Chief." 

"I don't think he's gotten to me nearly as bad as he has to you. You are like way protective, man." 

"Does it bother you?" His gaze looked unsure, his head tilting to one side. 

"No, not at all. It's actually kinda nice." Jim smiled at Sandburg's shrug. "I'd better go." The older man nodded. 

"Chief." He turned back around to see Jim holding his coat out to him. 

"You forgot your jacket and it looks like rain." 

"Thanks." He took the jacket, his gaze lingering on Jim thoughtfully. "I'll see you later. Thanks for the lift." 

"No problem." 

Blair shut the door and Jim watched as he bounced along the sidewalk and into the building. He sat there for a few minutes wondering what possessed his hands to migrate toward his friend so often. Shrugging to himself, he pulled away from the curb and headed off to work. 

* * *

That evening, as Jim walked down the hall to his door, he heard Sandburg's heart beating rapidly. What could be scaring him? As he quickened his pace, the captain wished that he could tell the younger man about these crazy senses of his. Maybe then, he wouldn't have to be so careful about everything he said or did. 

When he opened the door, he saw red. Sandburg had been tied to the support beam, his hands pulled tightly around it behind his back. His face showed dark bruises still forming and his lower lip swelled, a stream of blood running down his chin from it. 

When Blair saw him, he held a finger up to his lips to tell the younger man to be quiet. The student bit his lip, nodding minutely, but didn't move enough to alert anyone watching him. 

Locating the other heartbeat in the bathroom, Jim stepped forward, unsheathing his knife. At the widened eyes focused on it, he put a reassuring finger under the younger man's chin. Tilting the head up, he tried to encourage the student with his eyes, holding the weapon away from him. 

"Are you okay?" Blair nodded, shutting his eyes. "Do you know the attacker?" Nodding again, his sad eyes opened. 

"Lieutenant Wilson." 

"What? _He_ did this?" Sandburg nodded one more time. 

"It looks like I should've let him get to me a little more." Blair shrugged, wincing as the ropes binding his wrists cut into flesh. 

"Stay here." 

Sandburg laughed. "Like I have any choice, man." 

A couple of minutes later, Wilson appeared, sliding across the living room floor on his knees. Ellison stalked him, ready to attack. 

"If you want to fight, you pick on someone your own size!" Teeth clenched, Jim's entire body tensed. 

"Come on, Ellison. I didn't really hurt him." 

"I suppose that bruising and blood is self-inflicted." Jim pointed in Sandburg's general direction with the knife. 

Wilson's eyes brightened. "Yeah. I came to apologize for last night. As soon as he closed the door, the kid went nuts. I was defending myself." 

"Oh, come _on_! I'm not stupid enough to attack someone twice my size!" Sandburg struggled against the ropes, releasing a hiss as they cut deeper. 

"I believe you, Chief. Just relax." Jim held a hand out toward the younger man, not removing his concentration from the intruder. 

"You believe that squirt over an officer?" Wilson asked incredulously. 

"When that officer is you, yes. I warned you about running your mouth and putting your hands on him last night. Honestly, I thought you were just obnoxious. Now, I know you're stupid." 

The first kick landed solidly in the middle of Wilson's stomach. Deciding to do this with no other weapons than his hands and feet, Ellison threw the knife on the floor by Sandburg's feet. Blair then moved his shoe over top of it to keep Wilson from grabbing it and cutting either of them. 

Blow after blow landed firmly against Wilson's body. His attempts to fight back didn't defend him against Jim's anger. Finally, Ellison grabbed the other man by the shirt, hauling him into a vertical position. Shoving him against the wall, Jim moved in so close to the other man's face that they could feel each other's breath. He spoke in a calm, but deadly tone. 

"You were too stupid to heed my warning last night. I'm telling you now. If you ever so much as lay a finger on him again, I will kill you myself. Understood?" Wide eyed, bruised, and bleeding, the lieutenant nodded. 

"Are you sure you're not fucking him?" The punch that connected with Wilson's jaw brought him to his knees. 

"I'm not fucking anybody!" Jim yelled, looming over the fallen man. 

"Maybe you should get laid," he remarked with defeated humor, wiping the blood from his busted lip. 

"Man, are you like totally stupid? Don't antagonize him. He's like so pissed!" 

Jim kicked the man one more time before dragging him to the door and dropping him in the hall. Locking the door, he turned, advancing on the younger man. His chest heaved, still in full attack mode. 

He kneeled to look at the damage done to Blair's bound wrists. A whistle escaped his lips upon discovering how deep the ropes had cut. 

"Chief, your wrists are cut pretty bad. I'm going to be as easy as I can." 

"Just get them off me, man." The helpless tone set Jim's adrenaline rushing again, barely managing to steady his hands. 

When Jim released his hands, Blair slid to the floor. Laying himself down sideways, he pulled his hands close to his chest, his knees moving in toward his body. 

Jim crawled around the beam to him, offering comfort simply by being near. "Where are you hurt?" 

"Everywhere," he answered with a moan. 

"Chief, we need to get you to a doctor." Jim gazed at his friend, concern tightening his facial features. 

"In a minute. Just let me catch my breath." 

"Are you having trouble breathing?" he asked, his voice full of alarm. 

"It's just panic, man. I have attacks. It's just a small one. I'll be okay." 

The captain rubbed his friend's back in long, soothing strokes, making sure not to apply too much pressure. 

"How did he get in?" 

"I let him in." 

"You what?" Jim couldn't hide his surprise. 

"It was stupid. I thought it was you getting home from work, so I opened the door without looking to see who it was. It's my own fault." 

"No, Chief, you didn't know he'd do this." 

"You were worried though. I could tell this morning when you dropped me off." Sandburg coughed a couple of times, then settled back down. 

"I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to do it here though. Do you think you can walk?" 

"I might need a little help." 

Easing the younger man to his feet, Jim's jaw tensed each time he heard a moan or a catch of breath. Blair wobbled when let go, so Ellison wrapped his arm around the other man's back, glad to feel the smaller man's arm snake around his waist. 

"Ready?" 

"As I'll ever be. Thanks, Jim. You're always here when I need you." 

"If you count after the fact. I'm not much on protecting you." The self-derisive tone earned an arched eyebrow from his friend. 

"What? Are you my self-appointed Blessed Protector?" 

"Your what?" 

"Nothing, man. I'll explain later. Let's just get this over with. I'm so not in the mood to be poked and prodded." 

* * *

"Jim, you didn't have to do this." 

"It's okay, Chief." 

"I just hate you missing work just to come to school with me. I'm fine. The doctor said other than the bruises, there's no damage, except for my wrists." 

"It's no big deal. You don't mind my grumping." He cuffed the younger man on the head, adding one more unconscious touch to the growing number. "Besides, I unofficially told Major Thomas what happened and he takes things like this personally." 

"Oh, great. Now, everybody will know me as the kid who can't take care of himself." He rolled his eyes. 

"You're not a kid. You've been victimized and it's getting you down." He set a reassuring hand on the younger man's back, just below his neck. 

"I'm _so_ not into negative karma." Blair shook his head. 

"Karma?" 

"Yeah. Negative energy and stuff. I really need to meditate when we get home." He smiled at the amused expression on Ellison's face. 

After a few minutes of walking side by side in companionable silence, Blair started as the backpack lifted off his shoulder, watching as Jim placed it on his own. 

"You're carrying my books for me, too? You could give a guy a complex." 

"It's that protector thing. What did you call it?" He smiled affectionately down at the younger man, not noticing all the appraising looks the two of them received. 

"Blessed Protector. I'll explain later." 

Nodding, Jim reached down and lifted Blair's right wrist, examining it through the gauze bandage with sentinel sight. "How are your wrists feeling?" 

"They hurt some, but not bad. I swear, if one more person asks me if I tried to commit suicide, I just might commit murder." 

"Down boy." 

Blair laughed good naturedly. The ease of the banter between them felt like flirting to Jim, but it couldn't be. Sandburg's a guy. 

* * *

"Jim Ellison!" Hearing his name, the captain turned to see who had summoned him. Recognizing his friend, Simon Banks, a wide grin creased his face. Sandburg watched the two men interact, standing behind Jim. 

"Simon!" 

"How the hell have you been, Jim?" They firmly shook hands. 

"Fine and you?" 

"Oh, just fine. What are you doing at Rainier?" 

Reaching behind him, Jim placed his hand on the small of Blair's back, propelling him forward. 

"This is my roommate, Blair Sandburg. Sandburg, this is a friend of mine, Simon Banks." Smiling, the younger man shook the older one's hand. "I took the day off and I'm going to his classes with him." 

"What on earth happened to your face, son?" Simon frowned. 

"I kinda got mugged." Glancing around, not meeting either man's gaze, his heart rate increased. 

"Do you know who did it?" 

At Blair's questioning gaze, Jim spoke. "It's okay, Sandburg. Simon's a cop." 

"Oh." His heartbeat and respiration slowed a bit at the new information. 

"It was one of the men in my unit, Simon. He took a liking to Sandburg and his feelings weren't mutual." 

"Thankfully, Jim got there in time," Blair interjected. 

"It's not the same one that took a liking to you?" the cop inquired. 

"One and the same. I don't think he'll be bothering us again though." 

"Not unless he's a complete moron," Blair added. 

"Okay, Jim. What did you do to him?" Simon gave a knowing look. 

"I got my point across. It slid by him the first time, but I got confirmation that he understood this time." Reaching for Blair's wrists, Jim lifted them for Simon to see. "This is just from the ropes used to tie him." He carefully lifted the gauze away from the wounds so that Banks could see the abrasions. 

"Damn. This guy was serious." Simon stared at the gauze covering the younger man's wrists, his brows bunching together. 

"Very. Sandburg's pretty sore, but I wouldn't want to be Wilson about now. He'll be sorry if he comes near him again." 

"It sounds like he already is." An amused smirk crossed the cop's face. 

"That was the point." Jim grinned smugly. 

"Listen, Jim. I have to get to my class. I can meet you later if you guys want to catch up." 

"I'm afraid I can't. I have to get back to the PD." 

"Good to see you again. Don't be a stranger," Jim instructed as the two men shook hands again. 

"The same goes for you, Jim. Nice to have met you, Sandburg." He nodded at the younger man. 

"You, too." Blair smiled. 

They watched Simon walk away, then turned and headed for their next class. 

* * *

As Jim walked in the door from going for a drink with Simon, the frown on his face gave his mood away quickly. His scowl didn't deter his young friend's good nature, however. 

"Hey, Jim. Did you have fun with your friend?" 

"I don't want to talk about it," he growled. 

"Did something happen?" 

"I _said_ , 'I don't want to talk about it.'" 

Blair raised his eyebrows, turning to give the man some space. "O-kay, whatever, man." 

Jim grabbed his wrist, letting go at the moan of pain released from the other man. "Shit, Sandburg, I'm sorry." 

"For snapping at me or for hurting me?" His eyes held no judgment, only curiosity. 

"Both. Look, I wanted to apologize for snapping. I forgot about your wrists." Taking hold of the wrist again, he soothed the hurt, rubbing his fingers gently across the gauze. His young friend intently studied him as he massaged. 

"Do you want to tell me about what upset you?" Jim didn't know what it was, but when Blair spoke in _that_ tone, he had to fight doing exactly what the other man wanted. 

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Curls bounced as Blair shook his head. "Simon asked me if I was sleeping with you." 

"Oh. That obviously bothers you." 

Releasing Blair's wrist, Jim rubbed his face with that hand, breathing in the younger man's scent deeply. "It's not you, okay?" 

The student nodded, eyebrows drawn together in concentration. "Then what is it?" 

"I... he's not the first person to ask that. I'm just wondering if I'm giving off some sort of signals and just not realizing it. Am I?" 

"I don't think so, but I've only been with two guys. It's not like I'd know." He shrugged. 

"You're gay?" 

Blair grimaced. "Bisexual. I like women, too. To be with a man, I have to really trust him. Does that bother you?" 

"No. It surprises me, but doesn't bother me." Jim massaged his chin, processing this new information. 

"Maybe it's the way you touch me." 

"What?" He looked up quickly. 

"You touch me a lot. You don't do that with your other friends. Maybe people assume that they're a lover's touches." 

"You touch me, too." Jim crossed his arms over his chest, frown lines cutting deep into his forehead. 

"It doesn't bother me. You don't have to get all defensive. I was just theorizing." 

"I'm sorry. This whole guy thing makes me edgy." 

"Why?" Blair studied the other man's face, searching for answers. 

"Sandburg..." 

Holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture, the younger man gave up. "Nevermind. Forget I asked." He turned and walked into his room, pulling books out of his backpack to get started on his homework. 

A few minutes later, Jim worked up the nerve to go talk to him again. 

"Chief?" 

"Yeah, Jim?" He looked up from his book, no anger in his expression. 

"I'm sorry. It's just... I'm just sorry." He shook his head, his shoulders falling slightly. 

"About?" 

"Everything. I'm not the most communicative person in the world. When I don't want to talk, I tend to get testy." 

"No. Not _you_." Blair grinned. "I know that, Jim. We've been living together long enough for me to gauge your moods." 

"You're not angry?" 

"Why would I be? If you don't care about me being bi, why would I care that the thought that you might be scares the hell out of you?" He shrugged. 

"Who said I..." Letting the words hang, Jim shut his mouth. Patting the younger man on the shoulder, he turned and left the room. 

* * *

**"JIM!!"**

Jim tumbled out of bed, only half awake, and ran down the steps as soon as he heard the desperate scream. Creeping quietly to Blair's room, he prepared to fight an intruder. What he found twisted his heart into a tight knot. 

Blair sat up in his bed wearing a tank top and a pair of boxers. His hair stuck to his face and neck from the nightmare sweat that coated his body. Trembling, he looked up as Jim walked into his room and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't mean to wake you." 

"Bad dream?" The older man gave Blair's shoulder a squeeze as the student swallowed hard and nodded. "Do you want to tell me about it?" 

"Just give me a minute, okay?" 

"Another panic attack?" He tilted his head to one side. 

"No. Actually this is just waking up from a nightmare, trying to find reality again." 

The younger man's shaken voice pushed Jim into motion. Scooting forward, he pulled the other man into a hug. Stiffening slightly, the smaller form melted into his embrace as he soothed with leisurely circles all over the student's back. 

"Better?" The head against his shoulder nodded. "What was the dream about?" 

"Wilson. He um... when you came home, he was expecting you. As you came through the door, he hit you from behind. When you woke up, he had you tied down to a chair and made you watch as he beat me. The sound of my bones breaking was like _so_ loud." He burrowed his head further into Jim's shoulder while the older man squeezed him tighter. 

"It was only a dream. I won't let him hurt you." 

"Thanks." They sat, embracing, neither one in a hurry to let go. "Jim?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you remember what we talked about earlier?" 

"Mm-hmm." He flinched a bit, still enjoying the warmth of his friend's sleepy body. 

"Well, I was thinking." 

"No. Not you." The smile in his voice eased the tension, causing the other man to laugh. 

"Maybe that's why people think we're together." 

"Why?" 

"Because you're protective of me." 

Thinking about it, he decided that Blair had a point. That could very well explain it. When Wilson and Simon had asked, Jim had been acting that way. 

"You know what, Chief? I think you're right." He didn't ask what about the younger man cast him in the role of guardian. "Do you think you can go back to sleep now?" 

Sitting back, Blair looked up at him. "Yeah. Thanks. I haven't had anybody chase away a bad dream since I was little." 

"I'm sorry." Jim looked down at his lap, not able to meet the younger man's eyes. Blair put his hand on top of the older man's. 

"Don't be. Thank you." 

"No problem." Blushing slightly, the older man got to his feet and headed back to bed. 

* * *

"Are you going somewhere, Chief?" Jim eyed his friend suspiciously. 

"I have a date. Why?" he answered distractedly as he searched for his shoes. 

Swallowing the sickness that threatened to rise in his throat at the revelation, Jim held onto his beer bottle tightly, purposely ignoring Blair's question. 

"So, who are you going out with?" 

"Julie. She's a senior. She's 21," Blair answered, still wandering around getting himself together. 

"Where are you taking her?" 

"To a movie. She can get into a bar, but I can't." He shrugged. "What's with all the questions?" Studying his friend's suddenly defensive posture, he waited. 

Crossing his arms tightly across his chest, Jim avoided Blair's eyes. "I'm just making conversation, Chief. I'll leave you alone." 

"Jim, come on. You know I didn't mean it like that. I just thought it might be the protective thing again." 

"Maybe. You still haven't explained it to me." Jim's hands fell to his lap, relaxing at his friend's misplaced assumption. 

"Later, man. I have to go." Grabbing his keys and jacket, he headed out the door. Poking his head back in, he regarded Jim thoughtfully. "You should go do something. It can't be any fun to sit here alone." 

"Go on. Have fun and be careful," Jim playfully growled. 

"Okay, dad. See you later." 

As the door clicked shut, Jim allowed the happy facade to fall. His head fell back against his chair, eyes closing. Feeling ill, he brought his beer to his lips again. Lightning quick, he pulled his hand back, hurling the bottle at the wall. The liquid fizzed as it ran down the wall, glass fragments flying in every direction. 

"Damn!" 

Leaning forward, he cradled his face in his hands. Why did he have to feel this way? He didn't _want_ to fall for another man. The harder he fought the feelings, the stronger they gripped him. 

Just when he thought he had been receiving messages that Blair felt the same way, the smaller man walked out and said that he had a date. What's up with that? Did he think he had to make Jim jealous to get him to act? It would take a lot more than that. 

Jim stewed over the simple fact that Blair had hit the nail right on the head. The thought that he might be bisexual scared the hell out of him. He didn't know if he was prepared to deal with a gay lifestyle, but the thought of someone else touching what he'd come to think of as his unreasonably angered him. Thankfully, Sandburg didn't tell him what movie they would be seeing or he just might have made a fool out of himself. 

"Suck it up, Ellison. He doesn't belong to you. You're too chicken to ask if he's interested." 

Getting up, he retrieved the broom and dustpan to clean up the mess he'd made. Grimacing, he wondered how long the sweet smell would take to fade. The stench stuck to the bristles of the broom, so he trashed it. Then, he washed the dustpan and put it away. 

Running warm water, he lathered a washcloth to clean the wall. Sometimes his temper really bugged him. The consequences are just never worth it. Standing back, he surveyed the wall. Satisfied that he'd cleaned it well enough, he walked into the bathroom and draped the cloth over the edge of the hamper to dry. 

Back in the living room, his emotions still tumbled in disarray. Blair probably wouldn't be back tonight. The thought made him feel very lonely all of a sudden. Staring out the balcony window into the night, he wondered when Sandburg had come to mean so much to him. They had only known each other for a few months. It just didn't make sense. 

Turning back into the room, he walked over to the table by the door, picking up a pen and a piece of paper. He scribbled out a note just in case Sandburg came home and wondered where he had gone. 

"Yeah, right. Like he cares what you do, Ellison." 

Mimicking his roommate's earlier actions, he picked up his jacket and keys, heading out the door. 

* * *

"I don't want _in_. I just want to talk to someone in there." 

"Listen, kid...," the large man with long black hair began. 

Blair interrupted the bouncer grinning down at him. "Would you just have someone ask him if he'll come talk to me?" 

Sighing and rolling his eyes, the bouncer called a waitress over to him, explaining the request. A pretty woman that Blair would have been checking out on any other occasion, she wore her curly red hair pulled up on top of her head, a few strands falling around her face. She turned her attention to Sandburg. 

"What's his name, hon? And I'll need to know what he looks like." 

"Jim Ellison. He's tall with blue eyes and shaved brown hair. He's in the army. He has on a cream colored mock turtleneck, dark blue jeans, and a black leather jacket. At least that's what he was wearing when I left." 

"Wait here, sweetie. I'll see if I can find 'im for ya." 

"Thanks." Blair fidgeted for about ten minutes before she returned. 

"I'm sorry, hon. He said that he didn't want to come out here. Told me to tell you to go play with your date." 

The stricken look on Blair's face brought a snicker from the bouncer. Sad blue eyes turned back to the waitress. 

"Thanks for trying, anyway." He turned to leave, whirling back around when he heard a slurred voice at the door. 

"Wha' th' hell're you laughin' at?" The bouncer straightened his face as pissed off blue eyes glared a hole through his skull. Turning to Blair, Jim staggered forward. 

"Wha' you want, San'burg?" Catching the older man as he stumbled, Blair curled his arm around the other man's waist. 

"Your note sounded like you were pissed at me and I just wanted to know why." 

Jim laughed without humor. "Why would I be pissed? I'm having a great time." 

"How much have you had, Jim? You are wasted!" 

"Who are you, my mother?" A chuckle from the bouncer drew another glare that silenced him quickly. Jim could poke fun at the younger man, but nobody else had better try it. 

"I thought I was your friend. I guess not." Releasing the other man, Blair dug in his pocket for his keys. 

"San'burg, wait." The younger man turned, his eyes for once not revealing his feelings. "'m sorry. Could you give me a lift? I don' feel so good." He rubbed his stomach. 

"Yeah. Where's your truck?" Blair moved back in close to steady the other man as they headed for his car. 

"Took a cab." 

"You came here intending to get drunk?" At Jim's nod, he leaned the older man against the car as he unlocked the door. Stepping in front of him, he gazed at the captain. "Why? What's wrong?" 

"Don' wan' talk 'bout it." Shoving past the younger man, Jim settled himself into the passenger seat. Blair watched him struggle with the seat belt, finally taking it from him and fastening it himself. Shutting the door, Blair walked around and got in. 

"Big surprise there," he mumbled to himself. He started the engine, noticing that his companion had fallen asleep as he backed out. 

* * *

After much maneuvering, Blair got Jim settled onto the couch and reasonably comfortable. Crossing his arms, he glared at the older man. 

"Okay. Talk. I don't care whether you want to or not. Why did you want to get drunk?" 

Jim scrubbed at his face, finally looking at the other man with one eyebrow raised. "Confused." 

"Confused? About what?" 

"Leave me alone, San'burg." 

"You're forgetting that your grumping doesn't work with me." The line of his mouth flattened in determination. 

"I'm _not_ talkin'." Jim did his best to glare at the younger man, but his condition lessened the effect. 

Blair stood still, waiting. Jim rolled over onto his left side, facing the back of the couch. Reaching for the top of it, he retrieved the blanket there, covering himself with it from head to toe. The younger man finally walked away when he couldn't even raise a noise from under the blanket. 

* * *

The next morning, Blair sat in a chair by the couch reading a book. Jim had spent the night sleeping there, so he would not be a happy soldier when he woke up. A loud groan signaled that he had done just that. 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Stop screaming!" From the movement under the blanket, it looked like Jim had placed his hands on both sides of his head. 

"I was whispering, Jim." Chuckling, Blair picked up the aspirin and glass of water he had waiting. 

"Aspirin." 

"Right here." Blair had it ready when the blanket came down. 

"What are you so chipper about?" Jim frowned. 

"Grump all you want, Jim. We _will_ have a talk when you get yourself together." Blair smiled at his grouchy friend. 

"No, we won't." 

" _Yes_ , we will." A determined expression settled across his features. 

"You sure are bossy." Jim glared. 

"And you're grumpy. Go take a hot shower. You'll feel better. I'll make some coffee." 

"Okay." Groaning, Jim sat up. Sitting still for a few minutes, he waited for the room to quit spinning. Finally, he stood up and unsteadily headed for the bathroom. 

* * *

Jim felt better after showering and shaving. He could still swear he'd been run over by a train, but he had made progress. 

"Feeling better?" 

"Some." His stomach growled at the sight of pancakes and orange juice sitting on the table. A mug of coffee sat by his juice. Falling into a companionable silence, the two men ate their breakfast. Once they had finished, Blair brought up the subject of the previous night. 

"Jim, what was wrong last night?" 

Sighing loudly, the older man regarded his companion. "I told you, Sandburg. I don't want to discuss it." Getting up from the table, he took their dishes to the sink to wash them. When one cooked, the other cleaned. Blair followed him to the sink, picking up a dish towel to dry the dishes after they had been washed and rinsed. 

"Jim, your friendship is important to me. If I've done something to piss you off, I need to know about it." 

Jim pointed a soapy glass at him. "You haven't pissed me off yet, Chief, but you're getting close." 

"Does this have anything to do with the bisexual thing?" 

"Damnit, Sandburg! Would you just lay off already?!" 

Eyes widening, the younger man leaned back a little. "I do believe I hit a nerve." 

"Damn right, you did. Now leave me the hell alone!" He punctuated his words by snagging the towel from the younger man's fingers. 

"Fine. I'm gonna take a walk." 

Knowing that meant the younger man didn't want his anger to get the best of him, Jim sighed as the door closed. 

"Damn, damn, damn!" His hand came down on the countertop with a thud, shaking the dishes and silverware there. 

* * *

The snick of the door closing a couple of hours later brought a sense of dread into Jim's stomach. If he gave Sandburg too much time to think, he'd figure it out. The other man's intellect amazed him sometimes. 

"Jim?" 

"Upstairs." He heard footsteps on the stairs as he folded his clothes. 

"What are you doing?" Blair looked at him with a bewildered expression. 

"I'm folding my laundry. Yours is on your bed." 

"It was my turn to do laundry." His brows drew together in a confused frown. 

Exasperated, Jim sighed. "I was home and had the time. Are you complaining?" 

"No, but I think I've figured out what's bugging you." 

"Yeah?" He glared, one eyebrow raised. 

"You've been testy ever since I told you I had a date. You got all silent and snappy when I was getting ready." 

"Do you have a point, Chief? If so, I suggest you get to it." 

"Do you have feelings for me, Jim?" 

"You don't beat around the bush, do you?" 

Blair closed the distance between them, lightly gripping the older man's arm. "You're not answering my question." 

"Look, Sandburg. Can you just give me some space?" 

"You just don't want to deal with how you feel." Blair's hands perched on his hips, the determined expression returning. 

"You appear to have all the answers. Why do you even bother asking me?" Trotting down the steps, Jim headed toward the door. 

"Jim..." Blair trailed after the older man. 

"I'm going out. I'll see you later." 

"You can't run from your feelings." 

The older man glared, stalking over to face him, holding his jacket in his hand. "Don't you think I know that? Why the hell do you think I'm so pissed? I can't get them to go away. I've tried." Realizing what he'd said, he snapped his mouth shut so hard that his teeth clicked together. Blair smiled at him. "You're some piece of work, Sandburg." 

"Thanks." 

"That wasn't a compliment. Do you try to humiliate your friends on a regular basis?" He spoke through clenched teeth. 

"Humiliate? What are you talking about? I just wanted you to talk to me!" Blair threw his arms out to his sides, his eyes wide. 

"You're dating someone, Sandburg. This conversation doesn't change that. I'm not willing to be one of the many." Jim closed his expression off, not revealing anything further. 

"I am?" 

"Julie, remember?" 

Blair laughed. "I was home by 10:00. As soon as the conversation steered away from her, she turned into a pouty brat. Do you know how hard it is to find someone interesting to talk to, someone you don't have to worry about impressing?" 

"Yeah, I do." His tone sounded wistful. 

"I trust you, Jim." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jim frowned. 

"Take it however you want. I think you know what I meant." He turned, walking toward his room. Jim stood with his jacket in his hand, staring after the younger man. After a minute, he sat down on the couch, setting the jacket beside him and having no idea what to do next. 

* * *

Jim heard someone moving around in the loft. He'd heard Blair getting ready for bed after he turned in earlier, not having spoken since their argument. He thought that he should make the next move, but had no clue what to do. They both knew that he wanted Sandburg, but getting there would take some maneuvering. 

Bare feet padded across the hardwood floor to the bottom of the steps. Pausing for a few minutes, they hesitated. Finally, Jim heard Blair take a deep breath and ascend the stairs. The student appeared at the top, wearing a pair of dark blue boxer briefs and a black tank top. 

"Chief? Are you okay?" Jim sat up, leaning his weight on his elbows. 

"Fine. Move over." 

" _What_?" His mouth gaped open. 

"I said, 'Move over.'" 

"Sandburg..." 

Blair turned the lamp on. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. I'll leave. Otherwise, make room. I'm not that small." He met the other man's gaze, not backing down one bit. 

Staring at the younger man and trying to control his rapidly beating heart, Jim scooted over. Holding the covers open for the other man, he watched as Blair turned off the lamp and situated himself on the other side of the bed. 

The student stayed on his own side, not touching the army man. Snuggling under the covers, all Jim could see of him was a mop of brown hair and his face if he leaned up. The comforter hid his neck, as he had tucked it under his chin. 

"'Night, Jim." 

"Uh... goodnight, Chief." Settling himself down on his side, facing the younger man's back, Jim watched the other man sleep. He wondered how he had managed to get to this point in his life. 

* * *

Waking slowly, Jim felt a pleasant weight laying on top of him. Basking in the warmth of the other body, he sighed contentedly. As thoughts of the previous night ambushed his mind, his eyes flew open. Blair's head lay on his chest, his hair mussed from sleep. Snoring quietly, the younger man looked completely at peace. 

Jim couldn't stop the warmth that flowed through his heart at the sight. Smiling, he tucked a strand of hair behind Blair's ear. He cursed himself as the younger man stirred, blue eyes opening and blinking sleepily. 

"Mmm. Good morning." 

"Good morning." Just then, Jim realized that his erection was poking his companion in the stomach. Horrified, he didn't know what to do. 

Feeling him tense, the younger man smiled warmly. "Relax, Jim. It's no big deal." Squirming up the larger man's body, he placed a chaste kiss on warm lips. After just a few seconds, he pulled back. "Gotta brush my teeth." When he moved, strong arms held him in place. 

"Don't go." 

Nodding, Blair asked, "So, are you okay with this?" The curious expression transformed into a sexy smile as he laid his head down on the older man's muscular shoulder. 

Jim laughed. "Now you ask me after you push your way into my bed?" 

Blair shrugged, blushing. "I thought you wanted to make a move, but couldn't. I decided to make it easier on both of us." 

"I don't know if _easier_ is the right word. I've never..." 

Blair raised his head, making eye contact to emphasize the seriousness of his next words. "Okay. You're going to have to make up your mind because I am going to be sorely pissed if you decide that you can't do this after I fall in love with you." 

"After you..." Jim blinked. 

"Well, you didn't think sex was all I wanted, did you?" Blair asked indignantly. 

"I didn't really get past the fact that you're in my bed and my arms and I like it." 

"You'd better." Smiling, the younger man nipped his chest. 

"So, what now?" 

"Whatever you're comfortable with." Sandburg shrugged. 

"I hadn't really gotten to the sex part yet, although somebody is definitely interested." He smiled mischievously at the younger man. "I'm new at this, so I'm not sure what to expect." 

"Do you want me to take care of you?" 

"Slow down there, Chief. This is nice. Why don't you just let me hold you for a while?" 

"I can do holding." He laid his head down again, falling back to sleep. 

* * *

"Captain Ellison," Jim said into his desk phone upon answering it. 

"Jim." 

"Simon! What's up?" There was a slight pause before the other man answered. 

"Jim, you'd better get down to Rainier." 

"Why? What's going on?" 

"I can see your friend, Sandburg, from here. Wilson is following him." 

"Give me 15 minutes. Watch him, Simon." 

"I've got it covered. Hurry up, Jim." The line went dead before he finished speaking. 

* * *

As Jim pulled into the university entrance, he flipped open his cell phone and pressed speed dial #2. 

"Banks." 

"Ellison. Where are they?" 

"They're at the quad in front of the library. Wilson has approached him, but I can't hear them. Where are you?" 

"I just pulled into the university entrance. I'll be there in a couple of minutes." He disconnected the call. 

* * *

Blair felt thankful that Monday had finally come. His new relationship with Jim made him happy, but the awkwardness made it hard to deal with. The older man would not go beyond snuggling, still unsure of his feelings. Not wanting to push and lose him, the student tried to be patient. 

"Blair!" 

He turned to see who had called his name, freezing when he saw who it was. Swallowing the panic attack down, he tried to play it cool. 

"Lieutenant Wilson." 

"That's so formal. Call me Mike." He wore a warm smile on his face, which really unnerved Blair. 

"What can I do for you?" he asked, deliberately avoiding the name issue. 

"Blair, I wanted to apologize for my actions. I'm really sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I thought about it and I realized that I've been going about this all wrong." The older man placed his hand on Blair's shoulder lightly, ignoring the flinch. 

"Don't touch me, man." 

At the request, Mike put his other hand on Sandburg's other shoulder. "I really like you, Blair, and I'd like you to go out with me." 

"You're joking, right?" he asked, incredulous. 

"I've never been more serious." 

"Man, you _hurt_ me! My wrists are going to scar." As Mike released his shoulders, Sandburg caught sight of Simon watching them intently. That meant Jim would probably be on his way. The older man lifted each injured wrist to his lips, kissing it tenderly. "Don't do that!" Blair jerked his limbs away from the other man. 

"What's wrong?" 

"You just think you can beat the shit out of me and say you're sorry and everything will be magically okay? Are you _crazy_?" His hands moved rapidly, his hair shaking with his head. 

The smile dropped from the older man's face as he stepped forward, his voice deadly. He grasped Blair's chin in a fierce grip as he spoke. "Don't call me crazy. It's not healthy for you." 

"I'm sorry, man. It was just a figure of speech." He tried to smile, but it fell flat. The other man bought it though, letting his face go. 

"You're forgiven. So, will you go out with me?" The smile returned. 

"I would, Mike. You're really handsome and all, but..." 

"But?" 

"...but my heart already belongs to somebody else." 

"I knew it! You're fucking Ellison, aren't you?" 

"No, Mike. I swear to you that I've never had sex with him." He rested a shaking hand on the larger man's shoulder, willing Jim to show up any time. Just as the thought crossed his mind, he saw the truck pull up. 

Jim ran at full speed, skidding to a stop beside them. He pulled Sandburg's hand from the other man's shoulder, shoving the younger man away and behind him. Standing between them in a guarded stance, he faced Wilson. 

"Do you have a problem, Wilson?" 

"No." He steadily held Ellison's gaze. 

"Then why are you near my roommate?" He spoke in a low, dangerous tone. 

"I was apologizing to him." 

"Sandburg?" 

"It's true, Jim. He apologized and then..." 

"And then, what?" he snapped. 

"And then, I asked him to go out with me, sir." His face contained a smug expression. 

"You _what_?" Jim advanced on his subordinate, held back only by Sandburg's hand on his wrist and his words. 

"Jim, no. He didn't hurt me. I told him no." 

"Yes, he did, captain. It appears that he's in love with someone, but denies any involvement with you." 

"Of course, he denied it. I told you on several occasions that we weren't sleeping together." Jim didn't show a reaction, but Blair felt the arm he held tense. He squeezed it in response, not able to dispute the other man's claims without exposing them. 

"Fine. I can take no for an answer." He looked around Jim at Blair. "For now." Suggestively, his gaze dropped to the younger man's groin as he licked his lips. The student squeezed Jim's arm even harder, covering himself with his other hand. 

"Don't forget what I told you last time. If you hurt him, it's over." Every muscle in his body tensed. 

"Maybe you'd like to watch me fuck him." Blair fought the nausea that threatened to overtake him, his grip loosening. 

Jim stepped forward, leaning into Wilson's face as he spoke. "You'd better not even try it. When a man says no, it means no." 

"We'll see about that, won't we?" He began to turn around, but as Jim's back turned, he stepped around him to grope the younger man. Lifting Blair just enough to take away his leverage, but not enough to chance causing them to fall, he held the smaller man's cock and balls in his hand. Squeezing them viciously, Wilson watched Jim's face turn stone cold. 

"Let him go," he pushed out through clenched teeth. 

"Jim, help me!" Blair pleaded. The color drained from his face as Wilson continued to increase his punishing grip. 

"Let him go now and you'll live," Jim instructed matter of factly as Blair's desperate words nearly ripped his heart out. 

"Not hardly. I've wanted to hold him in my hand like this since I first saw him." The younger man whimpered, biting his lower lip as tears streamed down his face. 

Simon stepped up behind Sandburg's attacker, pushing his pistol against the man's neck. "Let him go! NOW!" He punctuated the last word with a vicious shove. Wilson set the younger man down on the ground, caressing his genitals as he let them go. Blair fell to the ground, curled up into a fetal position. 

"You're lucky he's arresting you, you son of a bitch! You're a dead man." Jim's eyes conveyed pure hatred. 

"He'll be taken care of Jim, the right way. You take care of Sandburg. Get him to a doctor," Simon ordered. 

"Whenever you touch him, he'll think of me, Ellison. That is, whenever he can stand your touch again." Wilson smiled, throwing his head back in a full throated laugh. 

"Chief?" 

"Don't touch me, man. It hurts." The younger man still held himself, flinching away as Jim moved closer. "Jim, help me." 

"I'm going to help you, buddy, but you have to let me touch you. I'm going to put you in the truck and take you to the hospital." The younger man swallowed hard at the thought of moving and nodded. Jim picked him up gently, but it still hurt. 

"Mmmph," Blair whined. 

"It's okay, Chief. I'm going to take care of you." Getting them both in the truck, he sped away as Simon pushed Wilson into a waiting patrol car none too gently. 

* * *

Blair laid his head on Jim's shoulder, sighing. "Jim, I'm not feeling very manly right now." The older man carried him up the steps to the loft. 

"You can assert your manhood later. I'm just worried about making you comfortable right now." 

"Thanks. I don't even want to _think_ about trying to walk." Stopping at the door, Blair leaned down, unlocking and pushing it open. Jim kicked it open further with his foot as he carried his heart. 

"Okay. I'm going to set you down on the couch. I think you'll be most comfortable there, unless you want me to put you up in my bed?" 

Blair shook his head. "No. The couch is fine." Jim set him down, freezing at the harsh gasp and fierce squeeze on his arm. 

"What? What's wrong?" He searched the other man's face, which twisted with pain. 

"Oh, man! These pants have _got_ to go." Jim picked him back up, setting him down on his feet. 

"Spread your legs apart a little more." Blair did as instructed, trying to keep from whimpering. Jim hooked his hands in the younger man's waistband, causing him to freeze. 

"What are you doing?" Wide eyes focused on the older man. 

"You said the pants have to go." The captain regarded the younger man's blushing face. 

"This is so not how I imagined you kneeling in front of me." Jim's head ducked down, flushing brightly. "I'm sorry, Jim. I shouldn't have said that." 

Grinning, the older man raised his gaze to meet his soon to be lover's. "No, it's okay. I just didn't expect it." He shrugged. 

"Okay. Go ahead then." 

Gripping the waistband, Jim began to lower the sweatpants his friend wore. Spreading his long fingers out in the front of the pants, he pushed them out away from the genitals as far as he could to prevent rubbing the sore area. When the pants pooled at the younger man's ankles, the captain reached for his boxers. At Blair's nod, he lowered them in the same fashion as the pants. He then picked the other man up, laying him on the couch before pulling the pants and boxers over his feet quickly. 

"Thanks, man." Blair leaned back, closing his eyes. 

Nodding, Jim spread the blanket on the back of the couch over Blair's stomach and legs to give him some privacy. Going into the bathroom, he took a clean hand towel out of the closet and rolled it up. Returning to the couch, he handed it to Sandburg, gesturing at his groin. 

"The doctor said to put this under your balls and rest it on your legs. It should ease some of the pain." Blair did as the doctor said, grimacing from the pain of touching himself. 

Jim knelt by the couch, intertwining his fingers with the other man's. "The swelling and bruising are worse than they were at the hospital. You're going to be pretty sore for a while." Lifting Blair's hand to his mouth, the older man brushed his lips back and forth across the back of it. 

"I already am." 

Jim's jaw twitched, his eyes miserable, as he studied the floor. 

"Hey." Jim looked at the younger man, jaw still clenched. "It's not your fault. You were there for me, took care of me. Nobody could've foreseen what he was going to do." He stroked the tense jaw with his free hand. 

"I brought him into your life. This whole mess has been my fault from the beginning." 

"How are you responsible for his actions? You might be at work, but that isn't the case here. Those rules don't apply. It's just one of those things that happens. We deal with it and move on." 

"You mean _you_ deal with it." Jim's hand hovered over the injured area, then balled into a fist. 

"Is that what this is about? You need to put me in a bubble? It's not gonna happen, man." 

"I need to look out for you, Chief. I've failed every time so far." His eyes closed as he bowed his head. 

"Would you just lose the protector thing already?" His frustration made his voice sound sharp, causing the other man to flinch. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You're not responsible for me. I'm an adult." 

"I want to protect you. It's part of who I am. I can't just 'lose' the instinct as you say. It's always been a part of me, but for some reason it's so much stronger with you than with anybody else." He caressed the back of Blair's hand with his thumb. 

"Okay, but this is _not_ your fault. If you hadn't been there, he probably would've done far worse damage." 

"Worse?!" 

"Yes, worse. He might have kidnapped me, finished what he started the last time you interrupted. I had just rejected him. It was a bad situation that could have been much worse. So you _did_ look out for me." 

At first, Jim looked hesitant, his eyes showing his doubt. After thinking about it for a few minutes, he nodded. "Okay. Are you hungry?" 

"No, I think I'm going to take a nap, if that's okay." 

"It's fine. I'll try to be quiet." Jim smiled, stroking the younger man's chest. 

"You don't have to..." 

Jim continued stroking as the words drifted off and the breathing evened out into sleep. Unfolding the blanket, he covered the other man up, tucking the edge of the quilt under his chin. 

* * *

Jim spent the majority of the next few days sitting on the floor in front of the couch. He had no trouble getting off work and drove in every day to pick up Blair's assignments from school. The instructors cooperated surprisingly well since the attack happened on campus. Sandburg wouldn't sue, but they had no way of knowing that. 

Able to move a little easier now, Blair's humor and enthusiasm had returned for the most part. He threw several teasing remarks at Jim each day, which made the quiet man's face flush brightly. 

Ellison heard someone approach the door, but waited for the knock so as not to arouse suspicion. Opening the door, he greeted Simon, who carried a manilla file folder with him. 

"Simon, it's good to see you." 

"You, too, Jim. How's Sandburg?" 

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Jim pointed to the couch. 

The other man walked over to the couch, seating himself on the coffee table, facing Blair. He gave the file he'd been carrying to Jim as he sat down. 

"How are you feeling, Sandburg?" Blair fidgeted with the blanket draped over him, his gaze skittering away from Simon. 

"I'm sore, but I'll be okay." 

"You don't have to worry. Wilson's going to prison. He won't be getting out." He wore a satisfied grin, a gleam in his eye to go along with it. 

"Simon?" Jim looked at the cop, his mouth gaping open, disbelief evident in his stunned voice. He still held the open file in his hands, causing Blair to glance at Simon inquiringly. 

"That's right, Jim. When we ran his prints, we got hits all over the place. Wilson is wanted in six different states for murder. He's killed 10 men, all of them former lovers. We're not sure yet if they were forced or willing." 

"Do you know why?" The astonished expression still rested on Ellison's face. 

"Wilson was into really kinky sex. We believe it was the only way that he could perform. The victims brought out the inadequacy he felt, which after the fact was compounded by the guilt of being in homosexual relationships." 

"That is seriously messed up." Disbelief changed to anger. 

"To say the least. I haven't told you the worst part yet." Having both the other men's attention, he continued. "He had already picked out victim #11. When we searched his place, we found a room with Sandburg's picture plastered all over, candles scattered everywhere." 

Jim jerked his head toward Blair, who had closed his eyes and tucked his chin against his chest, swallowing hard. Quickly, he passed in front of Simon, settling himself on the floor in front of the couch. He took Blair's hand, not caring that Banks would see it. 

"It appears that you interrupted more than an assault here that night, Jim. He inflicts as much pain as possible. That's why the ropes cut so badly." Jim unconsciously caressed the bandage on Blair's right wrist as he listened. 

"So, what's going to happen now?" 

"The DA is going for the death penalty. If that doesn't happen, Wilson will never see the outside of prison as long as he lives." 

Nodding, Jim rested his chin on his knees. 

Simon made his excuses soon after, giving the men the space they needed to process the news. Grinning at their joined hands, he stepped out the door. 

* * *

Not really caring that his friend might see it as weakness, Jim raised onto his knees, leaning forward to rest his head on Blair's chest. He had come so close to losing him just as he had really found him. What if he'd gone grocery shopping before coming home like he'd planned? He had just felt too tired that night. He squeezed the other man tightly, swallowing the lump suddenly determined to choke him. 

Blair held Jim's head to him, stroking the back of it gently. Finally, the older man sat back, glancing at his friend ashamedly. The younger man caressed his cheek, smiling fondly at him. 

"I'm sorry, Chief." Blair placed a finger over Jim's lips. 

"Don't be." 

* * *

"Jim, come sit down." Blair patted the edge of the center couch cushion. 

"I can't sit right now, Chief. I want to kill that..." His voice drifted off, not able to come up with a name bad enough. Fists clenching at his sides, he turned to face his companion. 

"Please." 

One look into pleading blue eyes and all the anger flowed from Jim's body, the protective instinct kicking in. "I'm sorry, Chief. I just..." Unable to finish, he sat down on the edge of the couch, pulling the younger man into a fierce hug. A whimper reached his ears, causing him to pull back. "Did I hurt you?" 

"It smarts a little, but I think we both need to be close." Nodding, Jim hugged him loosely. 

"I was so worried about my sense of self. I thought I'd lose myself by falling for another man. It's funny how something like this can put things in perspective." Blair's eyes widened at the admission that Jim didn't even realize that he'd made. 

"I love you, too." Blair squeezed him. 

"Would you mind if I kissed you?" Jim pulled back from the embrace to look at the other man. 

"Nope. I've been wondering if you ever would." The playful glint in his eyes brought a smile to Jim's face as he pulled Blair closer to him. Stopping mere inches away, the older man admired his love's appeal. 

"You're beautiful, Blair." The younger man gasped. "So beautiful." 

Blushing, Blair ducked his head, resting his forehead against Jim's shoulder. "Jiiim." Finally, he raised it back up. 

Wrapping his arms around Blair's back, Jim pulled the other man closer to him as his lover's arms closed around his neck. Lowering his lips to the student's, he got his first real taste of the younger man. His tongue sneaked out to lick the luscious lips beneath his own. Silently giving permission, Sandburg's mouth opened. 

Engaging in a gentle dance, their tongues playfully fought with one another. Jim moaned as Blair whimpered at the contact. Finally, they released each other's lips, but didn't separate their bodies. Smiling stupidly, they rested their foreheads together. 

"Do you think you could sit in my lap? I'd like to hold you." 

"I don't think so." Jim's expression fell. "Why don't you sit behind me and I could scoot back between your legs?" Smiling again, the older man nodded. 

Sitting down behind Blair, Jim carefully pulled the other man back against his chest. Wrapping his arms around the smaller man, one around his stomach and the other around his chest, the captain squeezed him tightly. Sighing contentedly, he closed his eyes. Feeling a touch against his cheek, he opened them again. 

"Are you okay, man?" 

"Great, Chief." Jim's mouth curved into a blinding Ellison smile as he kissed Blair softly. 

"Are you sure you're okay with the guy-guy thing?" 

Nodding, Jim squeezed the other man gently. "Yes. I can't wait to make love with you." He kissed the younger man's forehead. 

"Ditto that, man." Leaning back, he kissed the older man soundly on the lips. 

"We're going to be okay as long as we're together, Chief. Count on it." 

"I am, Jim. I am." 

Holding this man in his arms, Jim's heart filled with an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time, never this strong. He couldn't help feeling that the two of them belonged together. It's not every day that a soldier finds his heart. 

**EN**


End file.
